Wednesday, August 31, 2011 12:16 am

Scared

listen, ♥I don't know if I've done enough cause I know for a fact that I could have done much more and given it my best instead of the results I have now. So disappointed with myself, I know I can do more and better but I denied myself that very opportunity when the whole world would have grabbed hold of it. How stupid can I get? Really, how stupid!

GP in a few hours. I don't know if I'm prepared or not, after all the time I've put into this and my constant emphasis on GP at the expense of other subjects. I'm scared, really scared, like shit scared! I really wanna do well, but scoring 10 or 11 for content without SQ and AQ, is scaring me badly. I know it's only over 19, but I know I'll panic when I'm under stress that I might not even be able to do it.

Practicing paper after paper's not the best way out now. I should get some sleep and brave myself for tomorrow. I can do this! I know I can do it. Yes, I can!

On another note, J's been popping up lately. /: I need to do something about it, fast! /stop thinking Don't know why, but he always pops up when I'm feeling all stressed up. I think I'm gonna die. MUST STOP THINKING ABOUT JERKS AND CONCENTRATE ON MYSELF AND DOING WELL. Ironic and stupid, but I miss the person that you use to be.

Good night all, xxx.

Monday, August 29, 2011 11:56 pm

Defeat

listen, ♥Okay.

I admit, I miss you.

But it's not enough for you to come back.

12:34 am

Overwhelmed

listen, ♥You have no idea how much it hurts to see you like that.

Where's the person that I use to know? Where has she gone to?

Thursday, August 18, 2011 11:39 pm

Complains

listen, ♥Sometimes, I don't feel appreciated enough as an individual. It's like, I'm constantly being taken for rides after rides and I hate how people treat me and make use of me, thinking it's bloody okay it's so freaking not!

I'm human, I have feelings. I love and breath, just like you and I have my own opinions and life. There's only so much i can do and I wanna do all that i can, and give it my all. I don't wanna end up regretting like I've been all my life. I don't want to, I honestly dont.

But time and again, I find myself being put into situations thats never in my favour.

Screw everything, let's not go further. Sometimes, I dont feel that I belong anywhere.

And when positive thinking makes you despair, you feel more out of place than you ever would.

What's my worth?

Sunday, August 07, 2011 12:12 am

tools

listen, ♥In all honesty, I don't get why you demand so much for someone who's just a 'friend' to you.

What the fuck do you take me for?

Stop the mind fucking cause you're in no position to even talk to me, let alone debate with me over stuff.

You need to be more educated and see the world differently and I've given up on that. You're just, not worth the time anymore.

Oh my gosh, I almost directed my tweet "What's your worth?" in reply to you. I must have been that pissed.

Friday, August 05, 2011 9:23 pm

Friend

listen, ♥Friend: A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection typically exclusive of family relations.

Are you fit and in what ways have you showcased such characteristics?


Day in and out, all you've ever done is to insult and manipulate me, to the point that I feel as though i'm just a puppet to you. I know you have capabilities but so do I. So what rights do you have, to insult me and make me feel low and weak when you're no better as an individual. Try standing in my shoes and think from my point of view. Sometimes, I'm just putting up with you and in all honesty, I am sick of the way that I'm being treated. I'm not a freaking animal, I am a human with dignity and pride, just like you. So what makes you think that you can trample over me and make me feel like a fool time and again?

If you call yourself a friend, and at many times a true or best friend, you've really got to ponder over why I'm reacting this way. There's obviously a damn reason for it cause we're not people who would snap as and when we want to. I'm obviously provoked to the point that I feel the need to break free from the situation.

Sometimes I find you so scheming and manipulative that I feel like tearing the mask that we're both wearing. But sometimes, you've just got to pioritise cause this is life, and just break free when you have the opportunity to. It's called defense mechanism and not an escape as you might perceive it to be.

If best friends do things to hurt you, then they shouldn't be called best friends, let alone a friend. "A friend in need is a friend in deed." Ironic how this phrase describes you to the bone.

It's not that I hate you, it's the things you do that's pushing everyone away from you. And yes, try harder if you want to get me down cause it isn't working. I'm stronger than you think. Get a life, friend!